


Ayahina Week 2017

by CoffeeAndTae



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Ayahina Week, Cute, F/M, Fluff, Smut, ayahina
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-31
Packaged: 2018-10-08 10:44:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 14,027
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10384893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeAndTae/pseuds/CoffeeAndTae
Summary: Ayahina Week Day One, March 26th, 2017 -The prompt is coffee/reading





	1. Chapter 1

This is going to be a place where I can include all of what I write for Ayahina week of 2017. The prompt list is as follows:

march 26th: coffee / reading

march 27th: past / future

march 28th: insecurities / comfort 

march 29th: training / protection 

march 30th: nightmares / dreams

march 31st: nights / stargazing 

april 1st: free day

I'll be posting every day on Tumblr, and then I'll be adding it to this post here!

My tumblr is www.paintedghoul.tumblr.com


	2. Stay

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayahina Week Day One, March 26th, 2017 -   
> The prompt is coffee/reading

This is my piece of Ayahina week day one, and the prompt is coffee/reading. I hope you guys enjoy, and I’m more than happy to give this pairing the love they deserve. Inspired by a beautiful song if you’d like to take a listen, it's by Chanyeol and Punch and it's the Goblin OST song called "Stay with Me"

~

“Stay with me.”

It’s not a question, but a sleepily uttered command. It lacks the harsh edge that commands usually carry, but the soft-spoken utterance rings louder in Ayato’s ears than any drill sergeant’s scream ever could. It’s not the first time he’s heard this, nor will it be the last, and as sure as the crescent in the sky rises amongst a blanket of black, it comes every night, like clockwork.

“You’re tired.” He mumbles, taking his rightful place beside her and finding plausible reasons to keep his gaze trained on her peaceful, sleepy face.

“No, ‘m not tired… I was wanting to finish this chapter…” Hinami says, the cadence of her voice rivaling the intention heavily as she follows with a yawn.

“You’re just going to be tired in the morning, kind of like you always are, moron.” Ayato scolds with a roll of his eyes, even if he wants nothing more than to do as she asks and stay beside her until they’re both taken hostage by drooping eyelids and depleted energy.

She leans back so her head brushes against his thighs and looks up at him, doe-like eyes blinking back the last traces of sleep as she smiles that smile, the one that always robs him of breath and sends his brain reeling, the stupefying curve of her lips that renders him stupid.

“Make some coffee?” She asks softly, and he falls in love a little more

“Fine.” He grumbles. “You’d better not pass out after I go to all the trouble, though. Coffee isn’t cheap, and neither am I.”

“Black, extra strong, scalding hot!” She chirps in his direction as he disappears into their tiny kitchen quarters to start the pour over.

She doesn’t even need to tell him how to do it properly, really, he’s made the actual road tar she considers coffee for her more times than he cares to count. He flinches at the sickening smell of the bitter, almost burnt-smelling coffee grounds while he waits for the water to sift through. The trickling drip of the coffee acts like an hourglass, every passing second feeling like an eternity from the sheer monotony of the task (and he won’t admit it out loud, but the longer time he’s away from her, the lonelier he becomes).

Ayato walks back to the small room where they keep a ratty couch and busted coffee table carrying two steaming mugs of the toxins Hinami calls tasty. He gently places her cup in front of her, which she scrambles to grab.

“Hey, wait -”

But it’s too late. Hinami, as always, has underestimated the burn of the coffee and promptly chokes as the liquid hits the back of her throat. She splutters, and Ayato takes the mug from her before she can spill it and cause even more burns than necessary. The mug finds its rightful place on the coffee table, and Ayato’s large hand finds its rightful place on Hinami’s back, rubbing soothing circles into her delicate skin as she chokes.

“You gotta be more careful, dumbass.”

“I was excited.” She defends herself, gently rubbing the front of her throat in a futile attempt to dull the pain.

“Bet that woke you up.”

She tilts her head back to meet his eyes, and he hates the way his breath catches in his throat at the sudden eye contact.

“I do feel more awake, so now will you stay with me?”

“I always do.” He mumbles, ignoring the burning blossoms behind his cheeks while he tries to find the book she’d abandoned in favor of the coffee he’d made her.

When the book is found and Ayato has passed it into her awaiting hands, he takes his own mug of coffee and sips it slowly, listening attentively to the quiet grace of her voice as she reads aloud. He likes it when she reads to him. Why that is, he’ll never know. But he likes it. At first it annoyed him.

“Shut the fuck up, don’t you know anything about silent reading?” He’d bite, feeling immediately guilty when she winced at his barking words.

She stopped doing it after that for a while. As they gradually got closer, Ayato learned it was something of a coping mechanism. It took her mind off things. She hadn’t said it explicitly, but it wasn’t difficult to tell, especially with the way her hands shook when something bad happened and they didn’t stop shaking until she had reading material in them.

It took a bad night, too much blood splatter for even him to stomach, and a breakdown in the middle of an alleyway for her to open up again. He’d gotten her cleaned up, wounds sorted, and scrambled to find something, anything she could read, anything to stop the tears, anything to stop the alarming shake of her entire being.

She read to him for three hours that night. After the first ten minutes, her voice got less hoarse. After the first hour, she’d even stopped shaking. After the second, she’d completely leveled out and melted into her seat on the couch they sat at now, content and in a significantly better place than before.

She only stopped when the book slipped from her grasp and sleep claimed her body, even if she wanted nothing more than to keep going. As Ayato plucked the book from her hands, he caught her voice.

“Stay with me.”

So, it became a ritual. Hinami thought it was out of respect and favor to her that he listened, but the truth was that at some point along the line, he started enjoying it. The sound of her voice was calming, like ocean waves licking the shore of the beach, even and quiet. She added the proper inflection at all the right times, and she sounded like a different person when she was reading. Like she was in control. Like she didn’t have to be afraid of anything.

He listened attentively, making no noise or interruption as he drank his coffee. Hinami only paused to take sips of her own.

“You always make it so well, Ayato.” She praises, humming in delight as the taste coats her tongue.

He swallows the swell of pride blooming in his throat and rolls his eyes.

“It’s like battery acid. I don’t know how you can handle coffee that strong. It’s disgusting.”

“I like it, you know that. It’s not my fault that you can’t handle coffee any stronger than water.”

Ayato glares, even though he doesn’t mean it, and tosses one of the pillows on the couch at her.

“You’re getting a little too brave for your own good, brat. Watch your mouth or I won’t make you coffee anymore.”

Hinami laughs and as always, Ayato’s heart kicks into overdrive.

“Sorry, sorry. I’ll keep reading.”

And she does. She keeps reading until her voice tires out, and about half a cup of cold coffee later, both hers and Ayato’s eyelids are droopy.

“Gimme.” Ayato motions for her to hand him the book, and unlike before, she listens and surrenders it.

He puts the book on the coffee table and freezes when he feels her hand on his leg. She’s leant over so that she’s almost lying in his lap, and he looks down, unsure of how to wriggle his way out of this one. Hinami makes herself comfortable, using Ayato as her own pillow, and he realizes that he’s not moving until they both wake up. The small, tattered blanket hanging on the arm of the couch finds its way covering most of Hinami’s small body, courtesy of Ayato. Ayato begins to nod off until Hinami breaks the silence.

“Stay with me.”

His lips curve into a small, barely-there smile that Hinami can’t see.

“I always do.”


	3. Shrinking Violets Grow Too

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, day number 2 of Ayahina week, this time the theme is past/future! I was really excited about this one, and just a heads up, it will be tagged,but there’s going to be some sensual, slightly nsfw reading material ahead! Feel free to skip over this if it isn’t your thing, but it’s nothing intense! I structured this as a gradual build of past TO future, not so much just past AND future, if that makes sense. Enjoy!

“Ayato, c-can I try something?”

Romance, at least the overt, lovey-dovey clingy kind, wasn’t their style. It wasn’t out of dislike or disgust that they shied away from each other’s touches, and it certainly wasn’t out of malice that they both took turns flinching when something as miniscule as a reassuring hand on the shoulder came about. Neither of them really knew why the nature of their relationship was one of caution and gentle baby steps, but it just was, and even though it made for awkward moments time and time again, it was bearable. 

When they first met, Ayato wanted nothing to do with her, and he made it clear that she knew. The angry boy with too many problems and not enough solutions barked commands and insults until he was blue in the face, and even through the yelling made her flinch, she detected the same sadness and lost soul behind his dull, tired eyes. She detected the same feelings she felt herself, and he was the manifestation of the hatred she kept locked tightly away in fear of it consuming her.

Somewhere along the line, they started talking rather than Ayato condescending her or berating her for crying. The nights of loneliness shared between the two of them became too overwhelming, and eventually he began speaking to her instead of AT her. He hated how guilt rose like bile in his throat when she flinched every time he spoke. Their conversations mostly revolved around fixing her form or him lightly scolding her when she let her guard down too easily. No personal boundaries were crossed. She didn’t ask about his past, and he didn’t ask about hers. The energy between the two of them was too familiar to cross that path -- when they were ready, they would speak. That time wouldn’t come for a while. 

About a year after their initial, less than friendly introduction, they started cottoning on to their feelings for one another. It came slowly, like a creeping fog, and just as eerily. It was terrifying for the both of them. They’d come so far and had to depend on each other so much that they just equated it to being able to somewhat trust each other. Ayato reasoned that he was feeling protective, and that was why his chest fucking burned whenever he saw her in any sort of pain. Hinami just thought she looked up to him, and that was why she felt a swell of pride in her chest when she saw him grow up and take responsibility. They swallowed those feelings for a while.

Hinami always thought Ayato was handsome, she noticed that from the beginning, and that’s a part of the reason he intimidated her so much. Hinami looked up to Touka and always thought her quasi-big sister to be lovely, and true to their shared genetics, Ayato was every bit as beautiful as his sister. His dark, long hair hung down, framing his angular face in all the right places. His eyes, though cold and piercing were a beautiful color that she often found herself thinking about when she couldn’t sleep. His voice was deep, and although the cadence and tone he often carried when they first met scared her a little, it grew on her like a persistent mold that just wouldn’t disappear. It was made worse as time wore on and as her denied crush turned into something much deeper.

For Ayato, it was different. He thought she was fucking pathetic when they first met, and he kind of resented her for it. How dare she think she could handle it? How dare the weak, tiny, frail little bird set foot near him or even breathe the same air as him? He detested her tears. He detested that she showed that kind of vulnerability. It made him sick - It made him sick that everything she showed was what he felt inside. He got stuck with her more often than not, and as they shared training and time together, he felt his malice ebb, and confusion bloom in its wake. She puzzled him. He’d never hated her, even if he acted like it, but his dislike was replaced by something entirely different as their time together drew on. He started noticing things, things he hadn’t been caught up on before. He noticed the way her smile made his chest tighten, and how he longed for the way she brushed her hair out of her big brown eyes so he could see them more clearly. He noticed the way her clothes hung on her body, and he sure as fuck noticed the way his breath caught in his throat when he saw the swell of her breast curve out, more pronounced as the shirts she wore got just a little bit tighter. 

The scariest part - the truly terrifying, gut-wrenching gnaw of horror was when they both realized how unimaginably painful it would be to picture life without the other.

 

Admitting their feelings to themselves was a grueling task, let alone admitting it to one another. The time they spent together, the amount of danger they were mutually put in, and the inability to squash the smoke of rising tension ultimately led to the confrontation after a taxing night for Ayato that Hinami didn’t see the result of until he was indoors. 

“Ayato, you look terrible.” Hinami muttered.

“Thanks, I appreciate the compliment.” He quipped. 

“N-Not what I meant, you’re j-just covered in blood.”

“You should see the other guy.” He deadpanned, dropping the soiled coat to the ground and kicking it to the side so he could wash up in the bathroom.

Ayato could hear the tell-tale signs of her quiet feet behind him, and he didn’t bother closing the door as he made his way to the sink and wrenched the faucet on. He could feel her eyes burning holes into his side, so he cocked his head up and raised an eyebrow.

“Did you need something, or are you just gonna fucking stand there and watch me strip and shower?”

He’d meant it to be funny, but he never really was good at telling jokes, and he immediately regretted it when he saw a bouquet of roses stain her cheeks a bright red.

“I just - Fuck, I didn’t mean to -”  
“No, it’s - It’s okay. I just… I wanted to help you.” She backtracked immediately when Ayato’s mouth hung open. “N-No! Not like that! I didn’t want to help you sh-shower, I just wanted to - I - N-not that I wouldn’t if you needed me to, I just - I wanted to kind of help out and see if there was anything I could do and now I’m -”

She was so fucking cute.

“Wh-What?” She squeaked.

Oh. Christ. He’d said that out loud. Fuck. 

“Uh - I meant -” He grasped for words but none seemed to register in his brain, and he was certain if he kept trying to make excuses, he’d sound significantly more stupid than he felt. “Shit.”

He turned the water off, and to his and Hinami’s surprise, he closed the distance between them. He left a foot or two of space just for the sake of not embarrassing himself in the tight proximity, and before he could lose his nerve, he looked her straight in the eyes and said,

“You are so fucking cute.”

If the moment wasn’t so unbearably awkward and cringe-inducing, he would have laughed at the look on her face. Her mouth opened, like she was going to say something, then shut tightly, floundering like an absurd fish. Ayato didn’t give her much of a chance to speak, because after a good look at her beautiful, albeit flustered face, he couldn’t hold back.

“You’re cute. You’re good. You put up with my bullshit so much, even when I say stupid shit I don’t mean, you get it, and you -” He took a breath to gather his thoughts, and when he realized there was no possibly way to do that in the spur of the moment confession, he plowed on. “I l-like you. Fuck, okay I - I mean - No, that’s what I meant, I fucking like you. I don’t - I don’t see other people when I think of who I trust - I tr-trust you, you’re the one fucking good thing in this shitty, broken world and when I go to sleep I get happy because that means I’m only a few hours away from being able to see you again and - fuck, I sound so fucking stupid!”

His entire body shook with the weight of his confession and the relief of finally getting all of it off of his chest, but the relief was short-lived. A sinking sensation replaced the airy feeling when she remained silent, and the moments between speaking felt like heavy hours. He turned away from her to hide the burning shame and sadness he was sure was showing on his face.

“Fuck it, just forget I said anything -” 

“Ayato.” 

He was too scared to face her.  
“Wh-what?”

“I - I like you. Too. A lot, I mean. I really, really like you.” 

Her voice was quiet, almost inaudible, and Ayato could almost hear the blush. His heart leapt into his throat, and he was rendered temporarily void of oxygen as he processed what she just said. He wasn’t looking at her, so he didn’t see her reach out. He nearly jumped out of his skin when he felt the smooth, delicate skin of her palm on his arm, which in turn terrified the daylights out of her. They were both tiny, confused deers in headlights. Ayato honest-to-god laughed, even if the sound was shaky.

“We’re… kind of a disaster.” 

“A tragic one.” Hinami agreed, hand still on his arm.

Then came the inevitable question.

“Ayato… Wh-what does this mean?”

“I… don’t know.” He admitted in one of the smallest voices she’d ever heard him use. “I just know… that I care about you. I don’t know why, but I do.”

“I care about you a lot.” Hinami murmured, and she surprised Ayato by resting her head against his chest, the height difference faintly registering in the back of his mind as he looked down at her crown of soft hair.

He hesitated before pulling her in closer to him, almost crushing her against his chest.

“Then there’s nothing more to know.”

“I’m… I’m scared.” She mumbled, and he almost didn’t catch the sound of her voice muffled against his clothing.

“I am, too.”

The newfound confession didn’t change much between them, other than the fact that looking at each other in the eyes for the following few days caused them to flush uncontrollably. If anything did change, it was their level of trust. The confession allowed them to breathe easily around one another, and with the knowledge that their affection was mutual, it helped them grow. 

Affection was rare, at least physically. They both had zero experience in that field, and when put in the positions they were put in, life didn’t leave much time for conquering the realms of mutual self-discovery. They hugged on occasion, and Hinami had a habit of falling asleep on the same couch as him, little to no space left between two of them, but that was mostly it - until a few months after the confession.

Hinami was perched on a counter, swinging her feet as she waited for Ayato to pour over the coffee, excited to slake the thirst that burned in the back of her throat. When the coffee was done, Ayato poured them both mugs and turned to hand hers to her. She held out her hands eagerly, eyes shining in anticipation, and Ayato smirked, curving her. He reached over to put the cup behind her, and she protested.

“No, no, you always burn your tongue and fucking complain about it, and it’s really no one’s fault but yours, and -” He stopped when he was pulling up, realizing the position he’d just put the both of them in. 

His face was a few inches from hers, and she seemed to realize the same thing as he did, because she was already a few shades redder than normal. 

“I just… don’t want you to burn yourself.” He muttered, and she felt the warmth of his breath fan across her face.

“Thank you.” She said dumbly.

“Hinami? Be… Be still for a second.”

He surveyed her face for a sign of protest, and there was none. They both knew what was coming, and neither one of them were truly prepared for it. Ayato settled himself between her legs, not really taking into account the compromising position that left them in, but she didn’t protest. Before he could think too much, he cupped her face between his large, calloused hands and leant forward to close the distance between their lips.

The kiss was as any first kiss could be. Their noses crushed together because neither of them knew to angle their faces to make it comfortable, and their lips moved awkwardly against each other. Ayato was too terrified of slobbering all over her, so the kiss was dry and a little chafing on their lips. The action lasted no longer than five seconds until he pulled away from her, red faced, out of breath, and way too dizzy to be standing. 

Their eyes only had a brief chance to meet before they were looking elsewhere, anywhere else, to avoid each other’s gazes. Ayato realized how dumb they were being and took Hinami’s hands in his. 

“I’m sorry.”

She blanched.

“What, no, no don’t be sorry - you don’t have to apologize, I’m sorry, I was probably really bad at it, and -” She rushed out.

“Wh-What? No, you were fine, it was - I didn’t mean to force you or - “ He cut her off.

“No you didn’t -”

Their voices mingled together, a cacophony of apologies and excuses and embarrassment until they realized they couldn’t get a word in edgewise with each other, resulting in Hinami dissolving into a fit of giggles, and Ayato reluctantly allowing himself a true, loud laugh at the situation. When they managed to control their laughter, Ayato leaned forward again, his lips a few inches from hers.

“Mind if I try one more time?” His voice was uncharacteristically small and meek.

Hinami simply nodded, and that was all he needed to kiss her again. The second kiss was by no means perfect, but their noses didn’t collide. He parted her lips lightly with the tip of his tongue, allowing a little more moisture to seep into the kiss so they moved more seamlessly. Instead of on her face, Ayato moved his hands to her waist, pulling her to the edge of the counter so she fit against his body a little better, and immediately realized that was the biggest mistake he could have made. His body responded in ways he wasn’t prepared for, but he didn’t want to leave the warmth of her mouth, so he remained, getting as much out of it as he could. It wasn’t perfect, but nothing about their relationship really was. 

When they finally pulled apart for air, Hinami smiled, and the sight did funny things to Ayato’s already heated body. He pried himself away from her before she could take notice of what was going on in his hormone-crazed body, and he moved to hand her the coffee cup.

“Should be cool enough now.” He said. 

 

After that, they became a little more relaxed around one another. They didn’t kiss that often, and if Ayato was being honest, it was mostly because he was afraid of what his body was capable of and he didn’t want to scare her away. He was terrified of losing her. A few exchanged kisses here and there weren’t uncommon, but that was about it. 

Their history with affection and letting one another in was rocky, but the iciness that coated his veneer melted with the newfound affection he had for her, and the clustered wall of self-preservation she’d built eroded as she found trust in him.

They were sitting on his bed one night after she’d tended to a small cut on his shoulder, comfortable silence pleasantly surrounding them as Hinami inspected the skin to make sure she’d gotten everything squared away. His eyes were closed as he relished in the soothing touch of her gentle hands, and Hinami felt her heart thud at the sight of his peaceful face. 

“Ayato, c-can I try something?” She found herself asking.

His eyes opened, and he looked up at her curiously. 

“Yeah? What’s that scared look for?”

“N-Nothing, I just - I just wanted to try something.”

“Oh-kaaaaaaaaaaaay. You’re being a little weird. You don’t have to ask before you - oh -”

She hadn’t given him a chance to scold her for not just doing what she wanted, and he clearly hadn’t taken into account she could have possibly meant what she meant. Carefully avoiding the small cut, Hinami pressed her lips to the skin around it, timidly mouthing kisses from the top of his shoulder up to his neck. 

“F-fuck,” he let out a shuddery groan, and Hinami flinched.

“I c-can stop if you -”

“Don’t stop, please don’t fucking stop -” He said immediately, and she felt a funny warm feeling trickle through her body at how desperate he sounded. 

“Oh… Ookay.”

She moved more comfortable so that she was hovering above him and reached out to delicately stroke his jaw. She could feel him shake beneath her, and it incited a confidence within her she didn’t know she was capable of. Her lips met his skin again, this time closer to his pulse point, and he craned his neck so she had more to work with. That must have meant he was enjoying it. Judging by the hums and soft groans occasionally wrenching from his throat, she was doing something right, so she sucked harder against his neck.

“Oh, shit. H-Hinami - Th-that feels really good,” he croaked.

“It - It does?” She asked, head reeling at the sounds he was making and the gravity of the situation. 

“Do you want to feel, too?” He asked out of nowhere, and she didn’t even realize that she was nodding before he sat up. 

“Lay down, sweetheart.” He instructed, and the nickname made her move faster.   
Ayato took a moment to let his gaze rake over her, and even though she was fully clothed, he could already feel a familiar burn blossom in his midsection. Her cute lace dress covered most of her body save for the peter pan collar that rested delicately against her collarbones. He leaned forward before he could second-guess himself and moved the fabric aside with his finger. 

“Tell me if you need me to stop.” He demanded.

“I - I will.” She assured him.

He hesitated, allowing himself one more look at her beautiful face, then leaned forward to press his lips against her neck. She shifted beneath him, flinching a little bit at the sudden, unfamiliar contact, and he froze.

“N-No, please, keep going.” She encouraged. “I was just s-surprised.”

He moved his lips against her neck, mapping out what he wanted to do and taking her reactions heavily into consideration. He increased the amount of pressure slowly, moving his lips from the large canvas of her collarbones and shoulders up to her jaw. He sucked lightly, and the light, barely audible but delicious moan that left her lips had his skin tingling. Something inside of him snapped at that sound, and he was ravenous. He sucked harder against her neck, inciting more sounds, none of which were of protest, and even brought his teeth into the equation as he gently nibbled enough to get a reaction, but not enough to hurt. 

“K-Keep going.” Hinami panted, out of breath just from a little necking as her eyes were opened to the world of physical exploration, no matter how benign.

“Fuck, I will,” He promised, but instead of going back to her neck, he trailed his lips up to her jaw, then to her lips.

This kiss was unlike any others they’d ever shared. The kisses before had been tame, ones you would be able to give in front of company, soft and careful. This was entirely different. His lips slanted against hers, and the meeting of their lips turned from something soft to something devolved and hungry as Ayato slipped his tongue between her lips and stroked hers. Hinami squeaked into his mouth, but that just allowed him to deepen the kiss, and he was on top of her, pressing her into the mattress as he explored her mouth. Her hands found purchase in his hair, and she tugged lightly at the strands to pull him closer, if that was even possible. He swallowed a few of her soft whimpers and paid attention to her bottom lip, tracing his tongue along the plump skin before taking it between his teeth. She cried out, and for a minute he thought she was pulling away. He nearly died on the spot when instead, she pressed herself up against him, practically arching into his touch. 

They were both still fully clothed, not past the point of making out, but so far gone and brain-addled already. Ayato was trying to hold on to that last shred of sanity he had, but she was making it so difficult as she clung to him, desperate to feel more of him. He didn’t want to deny her what she wanted, but he was also fucking selfish, and if she wanted him to keep kissing her like that, he would until they both dissolved.

He moved from her mouth back down to her neck, man on a mission, and doubled his efforts. He kissed and licked and bit with the intent of leaving behind marks, even delighting in the idea of doing so. He hated how sick he was for moaning against her skin at the thought of her all marked up from his lips and his touch. His dick was apparently completely on board with that, because as he sucked a large, soon to be purple bruise into her skin, he bucked against her, surprising the both of them. 

“Fuck, I’m so -” He was about to apologize endlessly, try to save some type of grace and respect, but Hinami moaned.

“N-No, I like it.” She whined, and Ayato made the mistake of pulling back to look at her face.

That really did him in. Her cheeks were bright red, and she looked up at him from under thick, dark lashes. Her eyes were glazed, and her lips were swollen and red from the force of his. He choked on whatever words he’d had swimming in his head and leaned forward, head hanging and forehead touching her shoulder. 

The touches they so desperately avoided in the past were now so desperately craved. She wanted him, and he really wanted her. Instead of giving in, thinking with his cock and treading into territory neither of them knew anything about, he pulled back and gave her a shaky smile.

“I think … I think we should stop for now.” He managed through labored breaths.

“Wh- You don’t want -” She cut off, eyes swimming with soon to be formed tears.

What? No, no he did want to keep going! No, it wasn’t her!

“No, sh, no fuck - so not what I meant.”

Ayato scrambled to find his place and sat up, pulling her gently along with him so that they were facing each other. He reached out with a trembling hand to cup her cheek.

“I just think… We’re not ready. For … You know.” He said, going red with the thought at how dumb his words sounded even to him. “I think you and I… we gotta take it a step at a time. I want this to be.. I want it to happen the right way.”

“The… The right way?”

“Hinami, I - I don’t want to fuck up and ruin it for the both of us, okay? I want you so much, I’ve thought about this so fucking much, so much that it’s actually ruined my sheets a couple times. I want you. Trust me. I do. I just want to ease into it.”

“I - I know. I guess I just g-got caught up.” She admitted, flushing a pretty pink.

“You and me both. But listen, I just want you… to be sure, I guess. I don’t want you to do it because you feel like you have to.”

“Ayato?”

“Huh?”

“I want to do it because… Because I love you. I love you a lot. I trust you with everything. I already told you… I care so much about you. A-And, you, make me f-feel really, really good.” She admitted, speaking what had been on both of their minds but never uttered for what felt like the past few months. 

“You love me?”

He stopped himself from tacking a ‘why’ on to the end of the sentence.

Hinami nodded and grinned.

“For some reason.”

“Oh, you asshole.” He teased, wrapping his arms around her small waist and crushing her to his body. “I love you, too. Which is why I want to do this right.”

“Okay… I trust you. C-Can I still sleep in here?” She asked, pulling away from his grasp to look into his eyes.

He sighed and pulled away.

“Go get your stuff and get ready for bed, and stay away from the bathroom for at least twenty minutes, I’m taking a cold shower.”

She looked confused at what he meant, but before she could ask, he moved to get up and pull her to her feet. He sent her off to collect her things, then headed off to shower, spending an embarrassingly short amount of time jerking himself off, too riled up and tingling from the sensation of her skin on his to last any longer than five minutes.

She spent the night in his room that night, sleeping together with him in the utmost innocent meaning of the phrase, even if they both had some less than innocent dreams about the other that night. 

They weren’t perfect, and they weren’t experienced, but they loved each other. They loved being with one another. They loved the way the other lived. They would grow together, as they’d grown before, and conquer the building blocks of their budding romance one awkward, exciting step at a time.


	4. Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayahina week day 3, March 28th - Insecurities/comfort

She had eyes that gleamed as bright as the sunshine and a laugh that knocked the wind from his throat. She was the most beautiful, constant person in his life, and he would give anything to keep her in it. He would die protecting her if he had to. That’s why, even in normal, everyday situations, he clung to her very being as tightly as he could, soaking every bit of light and bliss from her as he could, and she fucking radiated it.

They’d been lounging on the couch, sharing random chit chat among a multitude of comfortable, pleasant silences. They gradually gravitated towards one another, her small body fitting closely to his like a familiar pair of shoes, deeply loved and worn into the perfect peak of comfort. He didn’t know what he was thinking, really. He guessed later that maybe he just wasn’t thinking. Yet, somehow, his hands found their way to the dip of her waist, and she jolted.He pulled back as if electrocuted, worried he’d somehow crossed an unspoken line and upset her until he saw her sheepish, smiling face.

“Ay-Ayato, no, I’m ticklish!”

A grin worthy of the greenest of Grinches spread across his face, and he tilted his head coyly.

“Oh, really? Where? Here?” He tested, barely grazing his hand along her fabric-covered waist.

She flinched, but didn’t yank away from his touch completely, secretly enjoying the gentle feeling of his fingers, even if it was over a layer of fabric.

“Be nice to me,” She whined, allowing her bottom lip to protrude slightly into a pout that made Ayato swallow. “I’m nothing but nice to you.”

“You are sooo nice to me,” He admitted, ceasing his movements to concede. “But it is so fun to watch you squirm, you’re such a spaz, and - Hey!”

As he was teasing her, she seized her chance and lunged forward, pinning him to the couch and shoving her hands underneath his baggy, slightly tattered shirt to give him a taste of his own medicine.

“Hey, hey, what the hell are you some kind of spider monkey?” He complained, making half-hearted attempts at dodging her movements and failing miserably. “It won’t work! I’m not ticklish, dumbass.

Hinami didn’t listen, and just as Ayato was about to get her back, she found it. The spot. The legendary, rumored tickle spot of whose existence he so vehemently denied. A loud, uncharacteristically high-pitched yelp worthy of a hyena left his lips, and Hinami was so taken aback, she froze.

“H-Hey, it’s only b-because you p-pinched me or something, I’m not tick - are you fucking laughing?”

In the midst of his poorly thought out protest to maintain a shred of his dignity, Hinami dissolved into a fit of silent giggles that shook her entire body. Ayato’s mouth hung open, his explanation to her discovery of his tickle spot lost as he watched her completely crumble in fits of quiet laughter above him. He was almost offended that she thought his screech was so comical, but he was too preoccupied with the way tears pricked her eyes and threatened to fall onto her flushed cheeks from the intensity of her laughs to really care that much.

He was about to pluck her off of him and make fun of her for laughing at something so stupid until suddenly, out of nowhere, a sound he never expected to come out of tiny Hinami pierced the silence of the otherwise vacant room. Immediately after producing the sound, her watery eyes widened and her small hands flew to her mouth to stifle the noise, even though the damage was already done.

“Did you - Did you just snort?”

She went bright red beneath the barrier of her fingers and shook her head with such force, her hair went a little tangly.

“Holy shit, you snorted. Oh my god.” Ayato said, unable to fight the smile capturing his lips and the disbelief seeping into his tone.

“No!” She protested, her voice muffled from behind her hands. “No, no!”

Ayato lifted his hands to hers and pried them away from her face, fighting her efforts to keep them clamped tightly around her mouth. An unintended laugh of his own slipped free when he got a good look at the expression on her face, and she whined.

“Don’t laugh at me, it’s embarrassing!”

“You snooorted.” He teased, slipping his hands down to cradle her face.

“No, your hearing is bad!”

“You snoooooooooooooorted!”

“You’re such a jerk.” She pouted, and he smiled fondly at the little bite she’d acquired. (He took a lot of undeserved credit for the feist)

“I can’t help it. It’s cute. Kind of the cutest fucking thing I’ve ever heard.” He murmured, leaning forward to touch his forehead to hers.

“You’re just lying to make me feel better.” She grumbled, avoiding his gaze.

He rolled his eyes and lightly pressed his lips to hers, smiling against them as she allowed him to. After a brief kiss, he pulled back to press a trail of kisses across each cheek and then her forehead, a bloom of dizziness exploding in the back of his head as she giggled.

“You and I both know I don’t bullshit.” He said, and she knew he was right. “Your laugh is - and I will deny this if you tell anyone I said this - the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. I - I like hearing you laugh, sue me. Even if you do snort like an old man - ouch, kidding!”

She’d gone a little sappy at his confession until the last bit, which she promptly - and gently - smacked his arm with the end of her sweater.

“It’s embarrassing.”

“Kind of. But mostly cute. And -” He pulled her into his lap so she could curl up on him. “I love it.”

“You really like my laugh?” She asked, resting her head against his shoulder and reaching for one of his free hands to lace their fingers together.

“I really love you.” He responded without missing a beat, tone even and sure.

“I really love you, too. Even if you are a jerk and you make fun of me.”

“I tease you because I care. Would you rather me just not talk, or should I leave? I can leave -” His threat was empty, and they both knew it, but she still clung to his shirt.

“Nononono, stay. You’re warm. And not a jerk. Well, kind of, but I love you.”

Ayato laughed, and it was the laugh only Hinami got to hear - his true, honest-to-god laugh.

“If you insist.”


	5. Weak

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is Ayahina day four, March 29th! The prompt is training/protection! This is set after they meet and before they admit feelings.

It is a hollow world full of broken dreams and shattered bliss, a sordid cesspool of hatred and violence. Even the best of intentions are riddled with the worst of evil. Every night the sun flees, hiding its bright face from sins and atrocities in a burning shame as hot as its existence. Tragedies happen and inflict the worst possible kinds of damage imaginable and renders every victim far worse off than they started; what didn’t kill them made them stronger but with every sacrifice there is a toll to pay.

Ayato sends Hinami away, bruised up and battle-worn from training with a sinking feeling stronger than quicksand each day. As Hinami lies on her back, staring at the ceiling with empty eyes, her broken heartstrings play out of tune, melancholic melodies of longing and suffering that echo in her mind. Ayato can see himself in her, and if anyone knows how she’s feeling, it’s him.

She isn’t cut out for this.

“Your legs are weak,” Ayato remarked, lightly tapping her calf with the tip of his foot. “I don’t get how you’ve been working on them for this long and they’re still so scrawny.”

He’d meant the comment as a mood lightener, although he didn’t know why he was even bothering, bedside manner and cooing praises obviously weren’t his forte. Still, she laughed, and the sound was so weak and hoarse it panicked him a little.

“So… uh… good job today.”

“Thanks,” she murmured, “That means a lot coming from you, Ayato.”

“Er… no problem.”

They walked in silence for a few moments, keeping their gazes trained on the road ahead. The night was quiet, and for any normal person that may have been a good thing, but it just set Ayato on edge. He was by no means an easily frightened person, but when you spent the majority of your life evading people that wanted nothing more than to see you killed, ‘too quiet’ was a worrisome state.

“I th-think - ah -” Hinami spoke finally, and Ayato could barely hear. “I think - Can we stop for a second?”

“What? Why, we’re almost - Hinami!”

Ayato hadn’t looked at her when she was speaking, and when he turned his head to scold her for wanting to delay the short walk back, the sight he caught made panic flare like live wires in every limb of his body. He lunged to be next to her slumped over, trembling form and didn’t think twice before pushing her hair away from her face to assess her expression, twisted up in agony and pained.

“What’s wrong? You’re not hurt, are you?”

“I c-can’t walk very well,” She said, meek as a mouse and just as small in his contrastingly large arms. “I th-think I got cut a little deeper than I thought.”

Ayato ignored her feeble protests to just let her catch her breath and she’d be fine, no problem, and pushed up the loose fabric of her skirt to see an irritated, deep gash on her upper thigh.

“Were you planning on saying anything about this? Fuck, Hinami, I told you that if you were hurt you needed to speak up!”

“Y-You always tell me to suck it up when I do.” She responded simply, and he immediately felt like the biggest jackass on Earth.

“This is different, dumbass! I just don’t like you crying about being tired! Just - fuck.” He blanched, unsure of what to do. “Can you stand at all?”

Hinami nodded, and Ayato helped her up to her feet, then promptly scooped her up into his arms koala-style. Her legs hung limply at his waist, and he pulled her up more to make his hold more secure. He was expecting her to protest, but she kept quiet and let him carry her the rest of the way back.

Immediately upon arrival, Ayato set Hinami down gently on his tattered couch and instructed her to keep still while he got what he needed. He came back to find her head lolling back and worry crept inside of him, leaving a sick feeling in his stomach as he lightly shook her.

“I’m gonna fix this, okay?”

She blinked a few times and nodded, muttering a hushed ‘thank you’ that he didn’t hear. He decided to forgo pleasantries since an injury was at stake and pushed her skirt up without letting the compromising position affect him. The cut was deep, but after further assessment, he didn’t think it would do any major harm to her. It was going to hurt like hell, but she’d had worse.

Hinami hissed as he cleaned the cut, and he didn’t tell her to keep quiet like he would have said to anyone else. He worked quietly, and even if the wound dressing turned out to be pretty sloppy, it got the job done.

“I’m sorry.” Hinami said while Ayato tossed the excess soiled gauze into a nearby bin. “I should have done better.”

“I’m not worried about that. I just wish you would have fucking said something. How long has that been there?” He demanded.

Hinami winced.

“A few hours.”

She braced herself for his grating, angry voice, but he swallowed the anger and sighed.

“You can tell me when you’re hurt. I know I - I tell you to suck shit up a lot of the time, but it’s just because I know you can handle it. You’re… You’re a lot stronger than you think you are.”

She looked confused.

“But you’re always saying how weak I am, what about my chicken legs?”

“Okay, look, that’s just to keep you on your toes. It’s… a mental tactic or some shit. Once you get cocky, you get lazy. It’s science or some shit.”

“So… you don’t think… I’m weak?”

Ayato pulled her skirt back into place to have something for his hands to focus on and so he could avoid her gaze.

“No.” He finally answered, getting to his feet and turning his back on her. “I’ll be back in half an hour. I’ve got some shit to do. Stay the fuck off of your leg, and if you need anything you can just - ah - just ask me, got it?”

“Oh-Okay, Ayato.”

He felt his chest tighten when she said his name, and in a desperate attempt to avoid looking at her with what he knew was a flushed face, he left the room without another word. Hinami’s eyelids fluttered shut after a few moments alone in silence, and Ayato’s face still lingered in her mind.

“You’re a lot stronger than you think you are.”

Maybe she was cut out for this.


	6. Home

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> March 30th, Ayahina Week day five, Dreams/Nightmares

Hinami dreams in color, pastel pinks and swirling circles of lavenders and periwinkle dot her blacked out vision, and none of it makes sense but it all makes sense. She dreams in beauty, dreams of worlds that transcend the sadness and pain of the one in which she resides, and she revels in them, desperately clinging to those last traces of sleep before the beauty fades and she opens her eyes. In her dreams she is at peace, her heart is full, and her life is as it was before her childhood was stolen from her.

Ayato dreams in fire, brilliant flames of azure licking his subconscious and for the briefest of milliseconds before the sleep induced images are reduced to nothing but dying embers as they slowly reduce to mere cinder and ash. The build up is intense and the crash is just as intense. In his dreams he is unstoppable, all-powerful and a savior of the weak, and in the more child-like recesses of his mind - a superhero.

But we all have to wake up from the bliss at some point.

Their nightmares are their reality, and no creeping, crawling tsunamis in their REM states can compare to the terror they live day-to-day. In their nightmares, they see blood-shed, comrades exhaling one last breath of carbon dioxide as the light leaves their eyes and their soul escapes the suffering. Hinami sees her parents being slaughtered, her mother begging her to leave and save herself. Ayato sees his father’s kind eyes slowly dissolve as the rest of his body follows, becoming the dust in the wind as an empty skeleton remains. 

They’ve grown to lean on one another, even pour their hearts out to one another. With the nightmares comes waking up in cold sweat, even a few pillows stained with shed tears are unaware of until the evidence is seen. She tiptoes to his room and knocks gently on the door, and before she can explain, he knows. 

In their dreams, they are at peace, but even with nightmares comes the embrace of two scared teenagers who can, for the briefest of moments, bare their souls. 

In their dreams, they are happy.  
In their nightmares, they are in anguish.

But,

 

In each other’s arms, they are home.


	7. Maelstrom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ayahina day six, March 31st - Nights/Stargazing. This is going to involve very nsfw material that I hope is tasteful and real, but nonetheless it’s naughty, so I’m warning you right now! If it’s not your thing, feel free to skip over this one. I’ve tagged it accordingly! This is technically meant to be read after Shrinking Violets Grow Too, but it can stand on it’s own! I’m actually really proud of this, and it ended up being pretty long, so I hope you all enjoy reading it as much as I enjoyed writing it. (All 5,624 words, oops.)

Routines are a funny thing. Some would argue that they’re boring and to subject yourself to the same monotony at around the same time each and every day is prison; that routines become opiates we so desperately depend on whilst we drive ourselves into an autopilot complacency. Some say that routines are necessary, and life is nothing without some sort of order to it; they argue that nothing can be achieved if there are no rules or schedules by which to abide.

Hinami and Ayato simply liked the comfort. In their world so catastrophic and unpredictable, having one thing they are used to - one thing they knew they could follow - provided a sense of security. Their routine they’d come to grow so used was simplistic and boring to those who despised routines purely for that reason. 

Every night, or the nights that they could afford to, they gathered in his tiny living quarters and shared cups of coffee and comfortable conversations. They talked about their days, how they were feeling, whether or not they were ready for some coffee or if they just wanted to forgo it for the evening. More often than not, they indulged in the sweet roasted bean extract, but they liked to think they weren’t TOO predictable. 

As the days they knew one another grew, the distance between them shrank. They’d gone from sitting on opposite sides of the room - Hinami on his tattered sofa and Ayato on a hard, plastic chair - to sitting next to one another. After confessing their feelings for one another, that distance closed entirely, and soon nothing but mere inches were left between them as they alternated between stimulating conversation and comfortable silence. They were fine with either, just being in each other’s presence seemed to be as easy as existing. 

As their relationship grew, a newer addition to their routine had them all the more eager for the night to come. When they were feeling particularly stressed, or if the day proved to be more taxing than they had anticipated (but mostly just because of each other) they found themselves closing even that smallest of distances they’d worked up to, resulting in Hinami’s arms around Ayato’s shoulders and his tongue tracing the seam of her lips. 

With every kiss, their bravery grew, and even the most blaring insecurities melted to the recesses of their minds as they soaked in one another, struggling to keep from coming up for air because the feeling of their lips touching was more blissful than the warm cups of coffee they shared together. Ayato never dared go further than breath-stealing kisses, keeping his lips - and hands - away from areas that could be deemed dangerous or uncharted territory. When they first delved into the realms of physical romance, or when they made out for the first time, they’d agreed to take things slowly at the risk of damaging what they had.

It seemed like a good enough idea. Hell, it seemed like a genius idea, but the fact of the matter was - they were both ignoring an itch that was getting more pronounced with each kiss. She trusted him with her life, and he in turn put his faith in her, and neither of them could think of any other possible person they’d rather do it with, but the small voices in the back of their minds held them back, and a question gnawed at both of them -  
“What if I’m not good enough?”

To anyone, Ayato seemed confident to the point of arrogance, but the truth was that he was just as terrified of letting the girl he loved see him vulnerable as any other young adult who wasn’t used to love was. She was just as terrified because she felt inferior to him in every aspect, even though he reminded her how much she meant to him. What if the other changed their mind?

The night was going along just as any other had, complete with Hinami stealing the fluffy blanket they shared and commanding most of the warmth. As always, Ayato shot her a glare and tried, half-heartedly, to tug the fabric back, and as always, she blinded him with a gorgeous smile of victory when he couldn’t extricate it from her grip.

“You’re such a little shit.” He accused, giving up on the prospect of taking it from her and crossing his arms in mock anger. 

“You know, if you weren’t so mean, maybe I’d share with you.” She countered, puffing her cheeks up. “It’s really your fault, you’re all the way on the other end, don’t blame me because the blanket can’t reach you, grumpy.”

Ayato raised an eyebrow.

“Is that so? Because I think you’re full of shit and you’re just trying to con me into cuddling you again.”

“I would never.” She pretended to be shocked and let the blanket slip from one of her hands so she could cover her mouth. “My intentions are nothing but pure!”

“Riiiiiiiight, you mean like two days ago when you wouldn’t give me back my coffee and ended up trapping me underneath you when I tried to get it back?”

“It’s not my fault you’re clumsy. Besides, you’re big and strong, you could have easily gotten it back if you really wanted to. I’m starting to think you’re making up excuses and blaming it on me so you don’t look like a big softie that likes affection.”

Instead of letting the sharp quip on his tongue fling free, he kept his mouth shut and his lips curled into a smirk as he eyed her from the other side of the couch. He slowly lifted what little of the blanket rested on his long legs and readjusted himself so he could move closer to her. Hinami squeaked when she felt his cool hands graze her waist, but was not protesting in the least bit as he changed their positions so she sat comfortably on his lap with her legs splayed out across his. 

“Maybe you’re right,” His voice dropped in pitch as he moved his lips to her ear. “Maybe I just like feeling you close to me. But don’t pretend like you don’t like it too.”

Hinami shuddered, his warm breath tickling as it hit her ear, and she moved her body so that she was facing him, her legs on either side of his thighs. She leaned forward to press her forehead against his.

“I never said I didn’t like it.” 

Ayato’s hands found her hips and he grasped them so he could move her as closely to him as physically possible. He pressed his lips to her cheek lightly, then moved down until they were nearly grazing hers. 

“How much?” He taunted, and she felt her face grow hot with the close proximity. 

“A lot,” She admitted, and the movement of her mouth caused her lips to touch his briefly. “More than almost anything.”

In lieu of an answer, Ayato kissed her. He angled his head so that his lips slanted against hers, starting off slowly, as always, and lost himself within the gentle kiss as it deepened. His hands moved to her thighs, and she gasped into his mouth as he squeezed at the bare skin there. He wanted to scream because it just registered to him that she was wearing a skirt, and almost nothing was deterring him from just reaching underneath and - 

“Ay-Ayato,” She broke away from him, panting, snapping him from his less than appropriate thoughts. “C-Can we, um - uh -”

“What?” He found himself asking, unable to fight the little spurt of panic he felt at the unknown direction of her question. 

Can we stop? Can you get off of me? Can you let me go?

“Can we m-maybe go to your bedroom?”

Oh. 

Wow.

Okay.

There were a number of smooth things he could have said in that moment. He could have told her yes and lead the short way, he could have secured his grip around her and picked her up, taking her there himself. But what poetry spewed from the young Kirishima’s lips as Hinami looked at him with doe-like eyes and a quivering bottom lip?

“B-Bedroom? What for?”  
Nice one, jackass.

“Oh, nevermind, we don’t have to go, I was just - sorry.” Hinami avoided his gaze, desperately looking anywhere but his eyes.

“No! Yes, I want to go to the bedroom, but I just - I wanted to - I just wanted to make sure we’re… on the same page.” He spluttered, wanting to crawl into a hole and live there for the rest of his life as he tried to salvage what little of the moment that he could.

Hinami’s eyes found his, and they shared the same glint of panic. Along with that panic, however, was a gleam of want. Desire. Lust. Hinami mustered every ounce of confidence she possessed and spoke as evenly as she could,

“I think we should try something new tonight. That is, if you want to, I don’t want to do anything you don’t want to do.”

Before she could second-guess herself, Ayato did as he’d hoped to do earlier and scooped her into his arms more closely so he could get a good grip. He stood, with a wavering step and somewhat more clumsily than he’d hoped, and carefully walked the two of them to his tiny bedroom. He kicked the door shut behind them, though it was unlikely they’d be disturbed, and moved to the bed so he could put her down. 

“I want to.” He said with a sense of finality. “I want to so fucking badly.”

Hinami smiled, though it didn’t reach her eyes from the nerves she was fighting.

“Then come here and kiss me, silly.” She chirped, moving over so he had room and lying back.

Ayato’s throat felt tight as he watched her, committing the sight of her lying back on his bed to memory. He climbed over her, and though they’d been in a similar position a few times before, it felt incredibly different. He took a good last look at her face before he leaned forward and crushed his lips to hers once more. 

He would never get over the elation of kissing her. Her lips were soft and small, warm and pliant against his own, and her smell was intoxicating. She emanated something between floral and sweet, and every inch of her called out to him like a radiating lighthouse in the bleakest of storms and dizzying maelstroms. He was trapped in her current and being dragged deeper each day, but it was one plunge he didn’t mind making.

Their kiss deepened, and his tongue found hers. She was timid, too afraid of taking charge, so he did it for the both of them. With practice, their kisses had gotten less sloppy and more enjoyable, and he found that she really liked it when he licked at her bottom lip. He even got to hear her whimper a little when he nibbled at it. As he sucked her bottom lip lightly into his mouth, he felt her wriggle beneath him, and he mistook the movement for protest. Immediately he pulled back, and a string of saliva connected their mouths as he tried to fathom what he could have possibly done wrong. Hinami panted beneath him, a look of confusion darkening her face, and Ayato went red.

“D-Did you w-want to stop?”

Her eyes widened.

“No! Why would you think that?”

“You were… er… moving a lot. I thought you wanted me to get off of you or something, like I was suffocating you.”

She went bright red, and Ayato did too as realization colored his features and he understood the implications of her writhing.

“Oh. You… You liked it.” He said dumbly, feeling embarrassment creep in the pit of his stomach. 

“I did.” She said quietly. 

“Here… let me see if you’ll like this.” Ayato murmured, as if he was gently trying to coax her out of the awkwardness of the moment, and leaned down to attach his lips to her neck. 

They’d only gone this far a couple of times before, and both times, he’d been careful enough to not be too aggressive. This time was different. He wanted to test her limits, since she’d so generously given him free reign. He wanted to make her squirm more. He wanted to know what she liked and goddammit, he wanted her to want him more.

As always, he started gently, but when he felt her relax beneath him and get comfortable again, he let himself go. What began as gentle pecks along her collarbone and neck turned into harsh sucks and gentle bites, and when his lips were on her neck this time, it was with the intent to mark. Hinami’s body quaked, and instead of assuming it was because she disliked it, he continued, only listening for her ‘no’ to stop. The no didn’t come. 

He bit down at the base of her throat and felt his abdomen tighten at the sound of her sharp cry, then licked the indention with the tip of his tongue and pressed a soft kiss in apology. Instead of telling him to stop or that it was too much, Hinami craned her neck for more, opening herself up for his lips, teeth and tongue. He alternated between nibbles and sucks and laved his tongue over the smooth expanse of her neck. When he pulled back for some breath, a twisted sense of satisfaction filled his body when he saw the blossoming bouquets of violets and reds spread along her pale skin. 

“More,” Was all she could manage, and when Ayato’s gaze flicked to her face, he felt annoyed when he saw her eyes screwed tightly shut.

“I’m not going to do anything until you look at me, sweetheart.” He drawled, pressing his lips lightly to her jaw. “I want to know what you’re feeling right now.”

Hinami’s eyes slowly fluttered open, and he could see wetness pinprick her tearducts. Before he could freak out and ask if he’d hurt her, she whimpered,

“It feels s-so good.”

Ayato had been half-hard ever since she asked him to take her to the bedroom, and at that sound, at that moment, he begged whatever force of nature was listening to not let him cum in his pants. She already gave him a hard enough time as it was, and once he had a taste of her lips, he was doomed, but this was an entirely new level he wasn’t sure he could handle. Hinami may have been inexperienced, but he was every bit as inexperienced and the crushing sense of guilt at not knowing how to navigate the situation left him feeling a little helpless. 

“What do you want, baby?” He asked, the nickname slipping naturally from his lips, and even though it would make him cringe in any other circumstance, it felt right.

Hinami seemed to agree, because she whined and reached out for him to come closer.

“I don’t know, I just want you.”

Ayato sat up, resting back on his thighs. 

“Do you want me to touch you?”

Hinami brought her arms to rest over her chest, even though she was fully clothed, and nodded.

“I may be bad at this,” Ayato admitted, feeling a rush of shame lick flames through his body despite his painful arousal. 

“I may be worse.” Hinami responded in a small voice.

Ayato motioned for Hinami to sit up with him, and she followed as he instructed. He tugged at the hem of her pastel blue oversized sweater as if asking permission, and Hinami lifted her arms to allow him to pull it off of her small body. The cold air hit fast, decorating her delicate skin with goosebumps. 

Ayato couldn’t hide his open admiration as his eyes dragged over her newly exposed, never before seen chest. She was clad in a pale pink bra, her small breasts swelling slightly over the cups of it, and Ayato was entranced by the rise and fall of her chest as she tried to keep her breaths steady.

“I know they’re not very big, but -”

She didn’t have a chance to finish her sentence before Ayato slipped one hand behind her back to lower her gently back to the bed so she could lay down. He immediately covered her body with his, partly to warm her up, but mostly because he missed feeling her against him and he was afraid he’d stare too long if he didn’t distract himself.

“You are too fucking perfect for me,” He said, nuzzling into her neck and delivering gentler kisses in contrast to the bruising ones from before. “How the hell are you real?”

The question was rhetorical, but he felt her shake with laughter before she said,

“I might just be a figment of your imagination. You have started reading a lot of books because of me, maybe I’m just a character in one of them.”

Ayato fought a grin and instead focused on covering as much of her newly exposed skin in kisses as he could, ignoring the painful feeling of tightness in his jeans as he focused on making her feel good. 

“Can I - take this off?” He asked after a few moments of exploration, tugging at the strap of her bra to demonstrate his point. 

“O-Oh! Y-yes, do you need help?”

Ayato scoffed. No way he needed help, he’d fought the most dangerous ghouls that roamed Tokyo, he could handle a measly bra. A bra was child’s play. He fiddled with the back, squinting his eyes at all the hooks he felt his fingers graze, and after a minute of trying to unclasp the damn thing, he sighed.

“Please.”

Hinami laughed, and the sound wasn’t patronizing, but delightful. His beautiful angel, bless her soul, got it on the first go and tossed it to the side of the bed and onto the floor. Ayato went completely and utterly slack-jawed when he got a good look at her. Her breasts weren’t large by any means, but they weren’t mosquito-bites, either - more than what he would have guessed, even when she wore tighter-fitting shirts. She had a generous amount, perfect for the size of his hands, capped with dusty-rose colored nipples he longed to taste. 

“Hinami?” He inquired, eyes not leaving her newly uncovered flesh.

“Yes?”

“You still want me to touch you?”

“Yes, but I have a favor to ask.”

“Anything.” He meant it, if she wanted him to get up and tap dance, he’d probably have done it just because she was the one asking.

“C-Can you take your shirt off, too?”

He’d never gotten his shirt off quicker than he had in that moment, even when it was soiled with blood and sewage and other questionable excrement at the end of a tough day. He yanked the fabric over his head and threw it to some far off corner in the room. He caught a faint gasp from her that did terrible things to inflate his ego, and before he moved forward to kiss her until she dissolved, he saw her rub her thighs together. It was the smallest of movements, but he still caught it, and the effect was dizzying. 

He salivated at the thought of how wet she might be for him, how easily his fingers would slide right into her, how she’d feel around his cock as she cried out his name and moaned for him. He had to force himself to concentrate on the task at hand before he could get too ahead of himself because the constricting denim of his jeans was already killing him enough.

“You are so fucking sexy it’s going to kill me,” He growled, and she didn’t even have a chance to reply before he lunged to trail kisses down from her jaw to her neck, then to her collarbone. His lips moved in a blazing trail until they reached his true destination, and he sucked her right nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue wildly, addicted to her taste and the sound of her whimpers as she thrashed beneath him, temporarily rendered incapable of speech. Her hands found his hair, and even though the pain prickled at his scalp when she pulled at it, it did nothing but spur him on, and he vaguely wondered if he was a masochist. 

“Ay-Ayato!” She cried his name in a high-pitched voice that had him bucking his hips against her thigh.

He took her nipple between his teeth lightly and, while she was caught up in the feeling of him practically eating her chest, he began trailing a free hand up her inner thigh, inching dangerously close to the fabric of her underwear. When she didn’t stop him, he moved his fingers further until they came into contact with her panties, and it hit him like an oncoming train.He pulled his mouth from her nipple with a small pop and hissed.

“Jesus fucking Christ, you’re going to kill me, you’re so fucking soaked,” He choked out, grazing his fingers over the drenched material. 

“I c-can’t help it.” She wailed, trembling like an Autumn leaf hanging by a prayer from a tree. “I - You make me feel st-strange.”

“Good strange? Is that why you’re this wet for me? How much do you think about me touching you like this, Hina?” He demanded, pressing his fingers harder against her core, feeling his brain go stupid when she sobbed. 

“Y-Yes! Good strange, I - Your fingers feel so much better than mine -” She stopped herself mid-sentence, but Ayato had heard all he needed. 

He stopped moving his fingers. 

“My fingers feel better than yours? Have you been touching yourself, Hina? Have you been thinking about me? You been wanting to feel me slip your panties off and touch you, make you feel good?” Ayato ground out, his voice hoarse with want and desire at the knowledge that she’d actually confirmed she touched herself to the thought of him.

“D-Don’t be mean, it’s so embarrassing.” She complained, hiding behind her fingers so she didn’t have to meet his gaze.

Ayato’s lips curved up into a sinister smirk, and with his index finger, he moved the crotch of her underwear to the side so he could touch her more directly. The effect was instantaneous, and he had her bucking until his touch at the contact.

“It’s not embarrassing, baby.” He cooed, stroking her lightly. “It means you want me. And you know I want you, too, don’t you?”

Hinami couldn’t find the words, for they were lost on the tip of her tongue as he touched her, robbing her of any rational thought. All she knew was that she liked it and she wanted more. 

“I - P-Prove it.” She found herself saying. 

Ayato slipped his hand from her underwear and made sure she was watching before he brought his slick fingers to his lips and sucked them into his mouth. Hinami squeaked and scrambled up to pull his arm to keep his fingers away from his mouth, and he laughed.

“Wh-Why did you do that?” 

“I wanted to.” He said simply. “And if you let me, I wanna taste you more directly…”

He wasn’t sure where this newfound rush of confidence was coming from, but she was driving him fucking insane. He wanted to devour her inch by inch, and the fact that he was getting to actually touch her just exacerbated his need for her. She was no better off than he was.

“Do you r-really want me, or are you just saying that to make me feel better?” She asked, her hands still on his arm. 

Without answering verbally, Ayato gently pulled her hand from his arm and guided it to his chest. He let their hands drift down the smooth planes and light beginnings of toned muscles to the waist of his jeans, then to the front. He pressed Hinami’s hand against his constricted cock, and squeezed, making her stiffen. 

“Does that answer your question?” He whispered.

She did something that surprised him. Instead of letting her embarrassment and flustered state consume her, she pushed herself up on her knees to wrap her arms around his neck and whisper something in his ear.

“You can take them off,” She breathed, and he cottoned on quickly to the fact that she wanted him to remove his jeans. 

They pulled apart from each other, and Ayato was so busy with taking his own pants off so he wouldn’t scrape his dickhead with the zipper that he didn’t even notice she was taking her skirt off. They were both left in only their underwear, and the way Hinami was eying the tented fabric of his boxers made him suddenly feel self-conscious. The high of the arousal was still going strong, but when the freezing air hit his burning body, he was very self-aware of how vulnerable and stripped down they were. 

“Hinami,” Ayato said before he could lose his nerve. “Can I do something?”

“Anything.” She replied, and even though her voice was small, she sounded sure. “I trust you.”

“I love you.” He said. “I love you so much, more than anything, and not just because we’re doing this. I love you for real. I love you now, and I’m going to love you in the morning, no matter what happens, do you understand? I fucking love you.”

“I know, Ayato, I know, I love you, too. More than my own life.” She soothed, lightly touching his hand with her own.

Ayato laced their fingers together and brought their clasped hands to his lips, where he placed a gentle kiss on her knuckles. 

“Lay back, love.” He said gently, and she felt her heart flutter at the nickname.

“I like it when you call me sweet things.” She admitted as she did as he instructed, her head hitting the pillow lightly.  
“I’ll call you whatever you want, as long as it makes you glow like that.” He teased. 

He let go of her hand so he could focus on what he wanted to do, and with a quick glance at her and a returning nod, he knew he had permission. True to his word earlier, he wanted nothing more than to taste her. He hooked his fingers in the waistband of her plain, cotton underwear and slowly tugged them down her thighs. Her scent hit him and had him salivating, and it took every ounce of control he had to not just bury his face between her legs and devour her whole. 

Hinami fought to control her breathing and swallowed the fear in her throat as she watched him lower his head between her thighs, anxious at the prospect of what he was about to do. He lightly squeezed her thigh with his right hand, and before he could lose his nerve, took a tentative lick up her slit, allowing the generous amount of her arousal coat his tongue. She tasted sweet and a little salty, but altogether pleasant, and he had to force himself to go slowly. 

Her thighs quaked around his head, and to soothe her, he traced nonsensical shapes onto her thighs as he explored her with his tongue. He’d thought about it a thousand times, but putting it to the actual test was an entirely different story. She shifted a lot, and he was worried she wasn’t enjoying herself when she moved. As he was about to ask if she was okay, he heard the faint sound of her angelic voice.

“H-Higher.” 

He took her words into action and did as he was instructed, probing the top of her entrance with his tongue. He felt his heart kick into overdrive when he tapped a swollen bundle with the tip of his tongue, and when she whined, he knew he was doing something right. He sucked her clitoris into his mouth and swirled his tongue around it, treating his task as if it were the last thing he would ever do. Just as she did in his dreams, she whimpered and sobbed, bucked into his face without even realizing she was doing it, and let sweet notes of his name slip from her lips. 

He gently parted her labia with his right hand and probed her entrance with a finger, testing the waters and gauging her reactions at the pressure. She gasped as he pushed his finger all the way, getting used to the foreign feeling of the thickness of his digit compared to her own slender one inside of her. When he felt her relax a little, he slowly pulled his finger out, then began pumping it as he focused his tongue on her clit. 

The sounds and the feeling of her slickness was too much for him to handle, so his left hand abandoned her thigh and he reached into his boxers to give himself a little relief. His touch wasn’t completely satisfying, but the feeling of her walls clenching around his finger was enough to let his imagination go fucking insane as he pictured his cock inside of her instead. The stretch would be so good and she’d look so pretty beneath him as he slowly fucked her, making her feel every inch of him and how fucking hard she made him - 

“Ay-Ayato, I c-can’t - That f-feels so good,” She cried, sending his mind reeling as she pushed her hips against his hand, desperate for him to keep going. “I th-think I -”

He took his mouth off of her, his face drenched with her wetness, and didn’t even bother to wipe his mouth, but licked before he spoke.

“Are you gonna cum?” His question was crude, but his voice was like velvet, smooth and alluring as he watched her fall apart before his very eyes. 

“Y-e-es,” She keened, her eyes drooping shut as she surrendered to the feeling of him slipping another finger inside of her. 

“Look at me, love.” He ordered softly. “Look at me, please.”

She fought to keep her eyes open as he thrust his fingers into her, and she choked on air when she shakily propped up on her elbows and saw him multi-tasking with his other hand. She was already on the precipice of orgasm, but the sight of him touching himself sent her flying over. 

A sound Ayato had only imagined her making wrenched itself free from her throat, and as she clenched around his fingers and a gush of wetness coated them, he could almost picture being inside of her. With an embarrassing high-pitched groan he’d never admit to making, his cock throbbed and he spilled over his hand and onto the sheets.

Hinami was a boneless heap, unable to move or speak as she panted, her body slick with sweat and her thighs even slicker with her arousal, and Ayato swore he wouldn’t be able to look at her without getting hard for at least a month. He was shaky, himself, but before he allowed himself to collapse next to her, he got up, cringing at the sensitivity of the cold air and his softening cock. He waddled to his dresser to get a ragged towel and practically fell back onto the bed in his desperation to not be on his feet. 

He lightly tugged Hinami’s legs apart to clean her up, and he felt his heart leap in his chest when she made a content ‘mmmmhmmm’, noise in the back of her throat. When he finished her up, he wiped himself off, once again, cringing at the oversensitivity, and moved up the bed so he was next to her.

“Up, love.” He said patiently, motioning for her to lift up so he could make them more comfortable.

She sluggishly did as she was told, and Ayato managed to pull the old, but comfortable blanket over the both of their naked bodies. Hinami made a noise of discontent, and Ayato turned to her.

“You okay?”

She silently reached out for him, opening her eyes as much as she could to convey her need to be held. Ayato smiled tiredly and, grateful there was no awkwardness, pulled her into his strong arms. She entwined her legs with his and nuzzled her face into his neck, soaking in his warmth. 

“That was nice.” She said simply, her breath tickling his neck.

He had to bite back a snort.

“It was. M-Maybe we could do it again sometime.” He mused, not really holding his breath.

“Yes, I’d like that… But -” She paused to yawn, and chalked her next statement up to her dizziness and state of exhaustion. “I think I want to feel you inside of me next time.”

Ayato was grateful for the pitch black of the room, because if she’d seen him then he’d be red from head to toe. As she drifted off to sleep next to him, and as he thought of every single disgusting thing he could think of to kill another erection because of her last words, he felt his lips stretch into a dumb smile. 

They didn’t have much, and often they felt like they had nothing. They had almost nothing next to their comfortable daily routine, their one piece of sanctuary in their hellish lives. The routine may have been bland, even pointless to some, but with the routine came each other, and as far as they were concerned, that was all they needed. 

Others could call them lame and boring, even losers. 

They were all of those things. 

And to each other, that meant everything.


End file.
